Body Image

So it's been a while since I've written a blog, but I found some inspiration.

I came across this article which I have posted at least once before, (a year ago according to Timehop), but I still love it and still think it is so, so relevant. I recommend you read this article right now.


http://www.essentialmums.co.nz/mums-life/health/8757837/Passing-on-body-hatred


You see, we don't have to be a mother for this to apply to us; we all know young girls and children who will be looking up to us. I'd love to see a day come where girls, young women and adults don't feel pressured by looks and beauty, but take pride in who they are, what they're like and how wonderfully unique we all are.

"I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

We can start to make this change right now. I remember when I first started to take notice of my appearance, when I first started to wish I looked different, thinner, prettier. And what is absolutely terrifying is that this was when I was in primary school. I don't think I was even 10 yet. But by who's standards was I judging this? Where did I get the idea that I wasn't good enough?
I was in year 8 when I first started to wear make up, to cover up my flaws and enhance what little good bits I did have, thoughts of my appearance consumed my mind. I don't think I'm alone here when I say I learnt tricks to hide myself. I knew what side of me was least flattering, I sat with my arms folded to cover up my stomach, sometimes I felt so self conscious and worried about what other people would think of me that I felt sick, that I couldn't face leaving home, because I was terrified of the way I looked. Some people might be shocked to read this. I feel terrible writing it! But what is even scarier is that I know for a fact I'm not alone in this. There have been some studies that show girls as young as 5 years old are being affected by issues of self esteem. 5 YEARS OLD. That's ridiculous. And what is even more ridiculous is that we can't seem to grow out of it.

I have a message to all Mums out there;

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE.

You are so loved and you are so beautiful. Mum, your selfless heart is the most beautiful heart I know. Your smile and your laugh are two of my most favourite things because it lets me know you are happy. You being happy makes me happy.
The article put it perfectly,

"We have become our own jailors and we inflict our own punishments for failing to measure up. No one is crueler to us than we are to ourselves."

Mums, you are the most beautiful woman your child will know, when you worry about the way you look, or put yourself down it's saddening to see because you're looking at yourself through the eyes of society. Stop. Look at yourself through the eyes of your child.

And not just mothers but all people everywhere, there are younger people looking up to you! We may not always be aware of it but we have an influence on the younger generations, you are a role model to somebody. I know I can still work on my attitude towards myself, but thinking about how the things I say about myself can influence how others could view themselves too, gives me courage to try and change. That motivates me more than the guilt or shame or discontent that just consumes.

Lastly, just think about some of the things you say about yourself.
I don't need to give examples because most of you will have something spring to mind automatically.
Now, think outside of yourself and think about who you influence. Think about those things you say to yourself and how you'd feel hearing those words come out of the mouth of someone you love; a daughter, a niece, a friend... a 5 year old.

"This madness has to stop... It stops with you, it stops with me and it stops now."

Sheep and Goats

Haven't posted in a while and this is only a brief one, because this is something that occurred to me while I was doing exam preparation (and I need to get back to it...) :D Who knew school work could actually provoke thoughts...?!
Anyway, part of one of my philosophy essays involved me writing about the parable of the sheep and goats, and then my thoughts kept unfolding in my head, hence the blog post...

(Matthew 25:31-46)


In this parable, Jesus says “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” and he also said, "Whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.” Something to think about next time someone needs us, we would not just be helping them as they are, but also Jesus. As Christians we like to think we would do anything for Him, but when faced with everyday scenarios how often do we brush past someone...? If it was Jesus asking us for an extended hand of love, how willingly would we give it. But if there was a drunk/homeless person in desperate need, how quickly would we shuffle off away from them? Similarly, there are people all over the world desperate for food, desperate for water and desperate for a shelter, that a lot of richer cultures could well provide (check out enough food for everyone if campaign) we are not just abandoning these people, but we are abandoning Christ, the one who DIED for us. Is this the way to thank him? “For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink..." Do we want to be a disappointment? Do we want to reject the one who saved us...? Next time you look into the face of someone in need, don't just see a desperate person, see Jesus Christ, our Saviour and repay him for all he has done.

I'm aware this is rushed and possibly not the best worded thing I've ever written but yeah... just some thoughts. I am hoping to have another blog post up soonish if anyone cares :p so hopefully that one will be better...

Potential Purpose

Recently I have been looking into what I want to be doing after sixth form. I have no more of an idea than when I first started sixth form what career I want to go into or my dream life ambition or whatever, but I am slowly piecing together bits of my near future. I'm not claiming to know God's purpose for my life or anybody else's but there are some aspects of it that I am starting to understand a little bit better.
I have had many conversations with people about things that I would like to do and looked at various universities but nothing really clicked and I ended up more confused about what I should be doing.
One thing that I was told was that God doesn't give us talents and passions for no reason and someone reminded me of the parable Jesus tells of the 'talents' (Matthew 25: 14-28)

"The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. but the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money." (v16-18)

The first two used the talents they were given wisely and gained more as a result, whereas the last one just buried it in the ground and did nothing with it. What did he gain in return? Nothing. So God has given us gifts and passions that we can use for Him. I was at the Big Church Day Out this year (as I have every year been since it started - go if you haven't been!) and I really saw that God can use talents of all sorts! There was someone there doing circus skills, keepy-ups with footballs, the first aid team, security guards, people serving food and drink, running all sorts of games, someone on stilts! Never mind all the incredibly talented musicians that were there - whether they were Christians or not, God was still using their abilities, personalities and talents.
So in deciding what it is I really want to be doing, I looked to where my passion lies and what I can do involving that - and I am really starting to feel a lot more positive about my future. I still don't know what is going to happen but I do know that God knows, and that what I enjoy and what I'm passionate about are not going to go to waste.

"God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies..." (1 Peter 4: 10-11)

But what if you're not sure where your passion lies? If you've never really thought about it or have been distracted by other things that have got in the way of discovering it, it could be tricky to work out what it is you want to do, what God could be leading you towards. When I was thinking about this yesterday a question/ scenario popped into my head. So, imagine this... If someone said to you that there was one thing, and one thing only that you could do for the rest of your life, what would it be? The answer to that question could be a good place to start, whether it is a sport, an instrument, art, media, generosity, hospitality, cooking or whatever, these can all be used in any situation to serve others and to serve God. And as a side thought - if you did have to do one thing only for the rest of your life, surely you would choose something you enjoy.
This is not to say that whatever you may have in mind is what you will be doing forever, but it may be something for a length of time until other paths and passions become clear.
I really can't stress enough how I don't know the way in which God works - that's why He's God and we aren't supposed to understand him, and many people wouldn't hesitate to agree with me when I say I don't know everything and wouldn't come close to claiming I do, but I know this way of thinking has helped me to work out a few thoughts and have kick started the long drawn out process of decision making that comes from growing up, and I can only hope and pray that in this I can help some other lost and confused people - if only a little bit.
God won't abandon you either - if you need to find your passion, draw near to God. Psalm 37: 4 says,

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."

To delight yourself in him would be to draw into his presence and not just to experience it but to enjoy it. We need to grow to love him better, to develop our own personal relationship with him and in time he will reveal to us our true heart's desires. We can never be too close to God, by that I mean there will never be a point that we can honestly say that there's nothing else we can do. Never a time we can say that
"everything is just so perfect I don't need to work on this any more". The time may come one day, in heaven when we find ourselves fully immersed in his presence, but all the time we are here we can constantly be working on loving, honouring, praising and pleasing God. And when we come to enjoy this, despite pain and hardships we may be enduring, he starts to reveal things to us. Verse 5-7 says,

"Commit your ways to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him..."

He wont reveal everything we want to know straight away but we need to trust in his ability, his goodness and faithfulness, trust in his kindness and wait patiently for him - in time he will honour us by letting us know what is going on! He will reveal the best thing for us, our way forward. Jeremiah 29:13 says,

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

If we search after him wholeheartedly, we will find him and with regards to future worries, just earlier on in this chapter, in verse 11 it says that the Lord knows the plans he has for us, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Just be reassured that God really does know what he's doing with you, he knows what you're going through, where you're heading and where you will end up, he hasn't given you gifts and talents to go to waste, but to enjoy and to use to worship, praise and serve. Most importantly, he loves, he is love. And he gives us the ability to love.

"If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." (1 Corinthians 13: 1-3)

Verse 13 - "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Found in You

Firstly, I want to say thank you to everyone reading this, and those who have read and shown me support for my last two posts, I am so overwhelmed and so thankful. God most definitely is good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLQlnaHpgJw - Secondly, watch this please :)

This song came on my iPod while it was on shuffle and I wasn't really paying that much attention to it - I was probably just like, "awh this is a nice song :)" but then one line really stood out to me and I started to listen. And actually listen. I find it so easy to bumble along with music, in particular worship music and not really pay attention to the words (which is kind of the point of worship music) and every now and then I feel God going, "seriously Gemma, this song is playing... you should LISTEN to it." So that's what I did when this line jumped into my ears,

"Jesus, everything I've lost I have found in you."

I apologise again for a rambly post but my train of thought was a little like this, "wow... that's such a nice line... actually it's so true..." and I started thinking about things I've felt I've lost. Confidence. Hope. Peace. The three words that I thought of that I have lost plenty of times. And another one - patience. And the significance of this line really started to kick me in the stomach. When I've lost confidence, I have found it in God. When I've lost hope, I have found it in God. When I've lost patience, I have found it in God. and when everything gets hectic and seems too much to handle - I have found peace in God.
My thoughts then continued and I thought about people who don't know God as well as I may do. Well, I don't know much of God, because He's God, He is uncomprehendable (?) and incomparable and as I've discovered ever deeper through reading the book "Indescribable" we have only glimpsed an extremely minute piece of His masterpiece, His message, His power and His ability (I could go on). But what I do know of God, and what I'm continually reassured of, is that He loves me. And He loves to comfort. And to anyone who yearns for Him, He will meet you. James 4:8 says, "Come near to God and He will come near to you..." He wants you to make the first move, He doesn't jump in and say - "that's it I'm gonna sort this out for you, you can't think for yourself any more." He waits for you to say "God, I need You." Then He says "Well, I've been here for a while... It's about time you realised it, but never mind that, you need me and I'm here, and we're going to get through this together."

"The time when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you."

I'm sure most are familiar with the footprints poem, but if you aren't I urge you to google it or something because it has been a crucial part to my faith and I am continually reminded of that line. When I've lost confidence, I have found it in God - He's carried me through it. When I've lost hope, I have found it in God - He's carried me through it... And I don't know where I would be if I didn't have God, my constant crutch, propping me up when I stumble.
 I just had a thought of falling... falling backwards - the worst type of falling because you can't even see what you're falling onto and really have no control over how you land or what you land on - anyway, I had a thought of falling backwards, but onto a trampoline and as soon as I fell right down to the surface, I was sprung right back up again. God is my trampoline.
Another thought tangent - that trampoline analogy made me think of those faith tests everyone does at some point, where they get a friend to stand behind them and they fall, trusting that their friend is going to catch them. A lot of the time it is a completely trusting scenario where one person falls and the other person catches, but often the "faller" can lose faith at the last moment and step backwards instead of trusting the "catcher" to catch. And in the worst case scenarios the "catcher" actually ends up being the "dropper." But this is how it is with God - we fall, He catches us - every time. He will never drop us - ever. But we can sometimes lose our trust, and step back - not letting God catch us - maybe we think we don't need him, finding other things to pull ourselves back up with. But we will always fall again, and again and again. And we need to learn to put full trust in Him (I am aware this is sounding like my last post but I'll try and get off that).
Pulling it back to the song lyric - when we lose things and feel unsatisfied we can choose what to do. We can try and find them in earthly things, temporary things that will fade - things that will disappoint us. We can pretend everything is ok and carry on, lying not only to everyone on the outside, but to ourselves on the inside, leaving us feeling unhealthy and suffocated. Or we can admit we need help - we can allow ourselves to fall into God's outstretched arms, because He is willing to catch us and He can provide all that we need. We need to make the first move and tell God we need Him, because He won't invade on anyone who is closed off to him and we can't expect Him to move if we aren't 100% willing. We need to acknowledge. We need to ask.

"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7: 7-8

And if we feel like God isn't answering our prayers - we need to persist. Persist in prayer. Because He will answer when the timing is right. And God's timing is always right. Even if it seems like we don't have the time here, God is outside of our time, God created our time! So of course He knows what He's doing! Of course His timing is perfect! And we need to trust His ability - because all we need is found in Him.

Faithfulness

I was lying in bed wondering what I felt my next blog should be about and thinking about what other things I had been pondering over recently. Since looking at God’s grace, his faithfulness also came up a few times – these two seem to go very well hand in hand. So I decided to write about God’s faithfulness, or attempt to express my understanding of it at least.
A lot of my thinking seems to happen just as I’m trying to sleep, which can be very irritating... but as I was thinking of faithfulness I realised that one of the things I most associate with it is a dog, a Labrador/Retriever in particular (bear with me). That then seemed to trail off into thinking about guide dogs, and how in particular guide dogs have to be extremely faithful to their blind owners. Guide dogs are constantly at the side of their owners, guiding them along roads, and paths that can’t be seen; but it isn’t just one sided, the owners have to place complete and utter trust in their guide, depend on them completely. I imagined myself in that situation, and although I do love dogs very much, I wouldn’t know if I could be in that position of complete and utter dependency... on a dog. In particular with crossing roads and other situations which could potentially be life threatening.
But I then realised that the guide dog/owner relationship is a lot like what our relationship with God should be like. He is our “guide dog” guiding us along unseen paths.  We may or may not think we know where we’re headed in the future, we may have plans that we fully intend to follow, but only God knows completely where we’re headed, and He’s the one guiding us there. He is constantly at our side, leading us along the right path. Like a guide dog never leaves its owner, God never leaves us – and this is His faithfulness. I find this extremely comforting as I have absolutely no idea what the future holds for me; I’m bumbling along with my A levels and struggling because I just don’t have a clue where on earth it is heading, but the fact God knows is reassuring and I need to learn to be like the blind owner, placing full trust and dependency in Him.
I was uncertain whether to post this yet as I felt it was a lot shorter than my last one, but I guess I do have less to say and I feel after youth cell tonight that I should be posting this now, and ending it on two passages that have really stood out to me. The first is about worrying, which seems to be a common occurrence in my life and I know many people in my life who are fellow worriers;

"That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life - whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him that they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?... so don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." Matthew 6: 25-27 and 34

And Hebrews 13:5 which says:

Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. 

Grace

 I have been thinking a lot about God’s grace... I’ve found it really difficult getting my head around the concept of “grace” predominantly because the only terms I’d heard it in relation to was the prayer you say before dinner and the sort of grace a ballerina has. However, since it is a word that comes across, probably daily for me; in the songs I listen to, every week at church or cell, obviously the bible, etc... I thought it was time I tried to understand what it really meant.
I recently got a journal from Quench Christian bookshop, which is one of the most beautiful Christian journals I have seen, intricately decorated and with “Amazing Grace” on the cover. Throughout the pages are quotes and passages all related to grace, so it’s very probable I will quote one randomly every now and again...

I really can’t think of another way that will help kick start the process of understanding grace other than what I did when I first became really curious... I turned to the dictionary. And this is the summary of what I found:

Grace:
1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action

2. A pleasing or attractive quality or endowment.

3. Favour or goodwill. Synonyms: kindness, kindliness, love, benignity; condescension.

4. A manifestation of favour, especially by a superior: Synonyms: forgiveness, charity, mercifulness. Antonyms: animosity, enmity, disfavour.

5. Mercy; clemency; pardon: He was saved by an act of grace. Synonyms: lenity, leniency, reprieve. Antonyms: harshness.

Looking for it in relation to God, what stands out most for me is “A manifestation of favour” and when I think of that, I imagine pouring out of God just a pure essence of love, flowing out onto all of us. Love so strong that nothing we can do, no matter how terrible, will ever stop him from loving us and wanting us. Just writing that made think... we NEED God. He doesn’t need us, but he WANTS us. That’s crazy. God would still be God without us around, but we wouldn’t still be us if it wasn’t for God - 1 Corinthians 15:10 “but whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favour on me...”

Grace is... an outpouring, a boundless offering of God's self to us, suffering with us, overflowing with tenderness. Grace is God's passion. - Gerald G. May 

 I just opened my journal to that quote. It hit me hard. Grace is all of those 5 points from the dictionary definition, and so much more. Grace is loving so much, that you can't bear to see the one's you love, your creation, hurt themselves and hurt each other. So  instead, you send a part of yourself to be with them, walk with them, understand more what it's like to be them, suffer with them, feel. Love. Jesus is grace. He is the embodiment of the meaning of the whole thing. Grace is dying on a cross, to take the burden from the wrong doing of the whole of humanity. I saw on twitter recently someone posted a quote:

"Why do bad things happen to good people? That only happened once, and He volunteered."

Now THAT is what's so amazing about grace.
Because of Christ's death on the cross, all of man's wrong doing in the past is forgotten, all of humanity's sin, forgiven. Because of God's grace, our debt is paid, we are free in him. And because of this grace, we are continually forgiven. I guess grace is when you know you've done something really wrong to someone and expect to punished for it hugely but instead, they just roll their eyes and say "it's ok, I knew you were going to mess up, so I've cleared up after that to make sure you aren't hurt and I've already forgiven you for hurting me. Oh I also know that you'll mess up again, but it's cool cos I'll forgive you for that too." - That's what God does.

His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. - Lamentations 3:22-23

Day after day after day, He pours His grace out on us, renewing it at every moment. We are always covered by grace. Always. And we really don't deserve it, but God thinks we're worth it. This continues to amaze me. If someone was always hurting me then asking for forgiveness over and over, I like to think I could tolerate it for a while, but the truth is at some point, I would give up on them. I'd tell them they had their chance but they kept mucking it up. It would pain me to have to keep forgiving and forgiving and forgiving. But surely if God can do it on that large a scale, we should be able to do it on this small scale. The thing about grace is that we don't have to earn it; are given it, but it isn't something to sit on, to keep to ourselves. We should also show it to others, and by doing that, it opens up a way for them to see God's grace through us.

I know more surely than I know anything, that any pang of healing or forgiveness or goodness I have ever felt comes solely from the grace of God - Philip Yancey

I am slowly arriving to a conclusion of what I understand about God's grace... and that is that I don't understand it. I'm never going to understand it. The fact he sent a part of himself, to take the brunt of our sins, so that we could live with him eternally in heaven, yet also experience a close and personal relationship with him now, on earth. He must really love us so much. And I can't thank Him enough that He does.

Listen to this song: Arms of Grace - Beth Croft because it sums it up pretty well and probably a lot better than my long ramblings :)

Grace, because God is putting everything back together again through the Messiah, invites us into life - a life that goes on and on and on, world without end. - Romans 5:21 (MSG)